My Little one Helping

I took this shot a few months back. He wanted to wash the dishes...I think every mother dreads this moment...due to the mess. But I let him go to it. Yes he made a big big wet mess. He was so very cute doing so. He was so proud of himself and just kept on dumping water all over the floor. Well after awhile enough was enough and it was time to move on to something else. I used a new vintage action I downloaded tonight....I am in love with this..so different. I am trying to branch out these days and get a little braver.

Basketball and Visiting Granny's new house

Today was cloudy but we thought we would get out before the rain came. We came to the park yesterday and when Samuel seen the basketball court for the smaller children he went crazy. So this morning he wanted to go and play basketball at the park...so off we went. When we got there he was still too little to get the ball in the basket. I had to keep lifting him up. Then a few larger boys came over and he thought they were going to play with him and he acted like he was playing defense against them. He got all excited and then....they left. But he kept on playing by himself. He dribbled and dribbled until he was dribbled out! Then it was time to go to the play ground and go down the slide. Well that lasted for just awhile then it was time for some Mickey D's and go to see if Granny was at her new house. She was home and we stayed for just a little bit. I got a few pictures of her tree blooming and then it was time to go. My head started pounding like crazy..I don't know if it is the front coming through or what but Advil and Tylenol has not helped me at all. So anyway the day had been great other than this crazy headache.

Front of my moms new house. I had been taking pictures of the flowers and took this. I used and acid action on this. I just like it because its different than what I normally do.

My Scariest Moment of Motherhood...Yet.

Saturday afternoon was warm enough to go outside and clean my car and Laz was going to clean up his motorcycle and Samuel of course wanted to play basketball and ride his big wheel. So I turned my car long ways across the drive way to keep Samuel out and away from the road. If he is riding his bike then he would have to hit my car before he got next to the road. My drivers side is next to the road and I was cleaning the crumbs out of my seat. I could hear Laz and Samuel talking and Samuel told him that he was going to play basketball. Well he has a small basketball goal and there is a full size goal in the drive way that he (tries) to use. I had just looked down from listening to them talk back and forth and the next thing I know I hear Laz screaming at Samuel. He had that sound in his voice that made my hair stand up and I automatically knew why he was screaming. As I looked around to my right side..I see my son running out in the street in front of a car. I dropped what was in my hands and ran after him. I did not know if the car was stopping or still going...and I did not care as long as my son was not in front of it. Samuel is so fast and he was in the grass across the street trying to shoot his ball in a basketball goal that was sitting in our neighbours yard. Needless to say I was so thankful that he was not laying in the road hurt or worse and all I wanted to do is hug him and love him but.........I could not do that. He had to know that what he did was wrong and never forget that it was wrong. So I marched him across the street...after we looked both ways. He was high stepping and his feet barely touched the pavement because I had him by the arm and I was walking so fast and trying not to lose my composure in front of the whole neighbourhood. We got in the house and needless to say he got in major, major, trouble. Then more yelling and explaining and then came the crying. Me telling him that he would get a boo boo that Mommy could not fix and then I started just getting so upset that I told him that Mommy and Daddy would not ever get to see him again if he got hurt really bad and mommy just could not live without him. It may have not been the right words to say to a 4 and half year old..but at that moment...what was the right words? All this happened within 5 minutes.....but it felt like a lifetime. And what does he say to me with tears in his eyes from the sore bottom???? "Mommy its ok Samuel's here." Thank God he was there. All I could do was march him upstairs and we sat on his bed and of course I was still crying and giving a lecture and telling him he could not go back outside. Then he hugged me and told me it was ok. I hugged him so hard and just thanked God that I could. Then told him he had to stay in his room.
As I walked out of his room I began to think about the day we had spent together previous to all the drama. Ohh my gosh...what a horrible mother I am. He had been in trouble most of the day for not listening and just flat out being a turd....and all I did was scold him. Oh my what if that trip across the street would have ended different? Would that be how.....Well I can't even finish that sentence. Now I am crying!! So today I woke up and decided that I did not want my son to remember me yelling at him or on his case for stupid stuff. I just need to remember to pick my battles better....and not let 2 weeks straight of us being together 24/7 make me a crazy person. God shook my tree yesterday and gave me a big wake up. I needed it in a big way. What would I ever do without my precious, beautiful, special boy? I just love him so very much. Ohh and for the record..no more playing basketball out front. Backyard it is...until he is 20.

These are my natural light shots for today. We went out to the park and let him run out all his energy. Today was our art show and Samuel behaved so well and we were so proud of him so he even got ice cream today.

My Art Show Entries

The photography group that I am in had those of us who wanted to participated enter several shots that we had taken. April 6th we go to a museum in Morganfield, Ky and see our pictures hanging up on the wall. It may sound like its not a big deal to some...but I think it is a really good thing to do...kinda gets you out of the box we all tend to get stuck in. My bud Noni helped me mount the pictures. She did most of the work because I did not have a clue in Hades how to do it. Its funny how different my shots looked mounted like that. Well me, my hubby and my son will go to the opening on Sunday afternoon. A couple of other Peas will be there. I look forward to seeing them also. Ohhh...and I just sat these up on the stereo receiver to get the shot..so the crop does not look very good.

Flowers are a bloomin

I came home on Thursday morning after work and started looking at my Easter flowers. They are just starting to bloom. It had been raining all night and rain drops were laying on the pedals. It was so beautiful. I also took this shot of my bird feeder. I just love the morning time. Its the best time to take pics of my flowers. Well in my yard anyway.

A Test of My Faith.

The past week has been very interesting for me where my child is concerned. I have had to depend on my faith and trust in God to deal with situations and making decisions for him this week. All moms understand the nagging, hurting, uneasy sick feeling in our stomachs that we get when we think something is wrong or just not right with our children. In my opinion that is the radar that God gave me when I had Samuel to help guide me in the right direction and make the right decisions for him. Well today I made the decision to take my son out of his school and send him to a new school. I don't really want to comment on the *why* part. It was like God was stomping on my head telling me to do it. So I did it. I cried alot just because Samuel had made some friends and changing his routine and environment is very hard for him and I did not want to have to put him through that. But I had to remember in the long run he will get the attention and the therapy he needs at this new school.

He will start Kindergarten in the Fall and will be going to this school anyway. So I guess he will just be starting a little earlier. I asked the special needs director what the cost was going to be for Pre-K so that we would be prepared and he told me it would cost us....get this...not one penny!!!! I just about dropped the phone and had to ask him to repeat himself. I could not believe it. Since when do you get something wonderful for nothing...uhhh...never! Samuel would also get physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and what ever other therapy he might also need and this is all included. All of this was presented to me a month ago but I did not see it working out because he would have no daycare at this new school and no daycare during this coming Summer. I work nights and I was not sure how I would ever get any sleep. Well again I am depending on my faith and that God will provide us with what we need. Me..needing sleep and Samuel needing a good education and therapy. So I took my leap of faith...I know that God has opened a door for us and even though change is hard for all of us we will make it. I am scared about working all night and coming home to a bright eyed and bushy tailed boy..but I have done it a many times before. We will get through the Summer and when school starts I will sleep when he is in school. Sounds like a plan to me.

My family and I have some possible big plans in our future...if everything works out...and if it's Gods will. I can't really elaborate about it right now, but I feel like a lot of things will get better for us.

I can say this..that we have been very blessed where Samuel and Autism is concerned. He has improved by leaps and bounds the past month. This may not seem like a big deal to some but here are the major accomplishments that he had done. See this penguin....that is the first thing he has ever colored in his life. Just one day all of a sudden its like a light switch came on and he could not stop coloring for days. My husband came home and told me "Well I have to tell you what happened at school today." I just cringed because it is usually something negative, and I was not in the mood for that. He began to tell me that Samuel started coloring today and that when he started he did not stop until the whole thing was colored. The other kids even went outside for a walk but Sammy did not want to go..he had to finish his penguin. I just started crying right there in the kitchen. I was so proud of him and that penguin. So when I got to school I look at it in the hall outside his classroom and of course the tears came again because for once my son had something to hang out in the hall for all to see. "Proud Mommy Moment" So now he is starting to cut with scissors, play (with) other children..to a certain degree, and the biggie..he is talking in sentences, asking questions, and telling us what he wants. I think we are kicking Autism in the behind parts. Yes... we still have struggles and many a mountain to climb yet, but it is one victory at a time. We have been blessed with many victories the past month. During Easter dinner at my cousins house my whole family could see the change in Samuel. It made me feel so much better and validated that the work that Laz and I are doing with him is making a difference.

I have started to listen to my heart and trust in my faith again. The people in my life that do nothing but put me down or just toss me to the side when they think they have found something better have really hurt me the past few months. But God is healing my heart and giving me the courage and strength to put it past me and to move on *without my normal give-em H**l attitude. I have just retreated and figured I am better off. God has brought back to me what I did not know I was missing...People in my life that love me...for me...that know me and accept me for who I am...respect me as a friend...an keep me positive. I thought I had that before with a some...but I guess I did not. It was just dressed up to look that way...I fell for it.. and that is what broke my heart the most. So I am cleaning house with myself so to speak and getting my life back under control. It has not been an easy year and God has made me go through many an test and trial but in the end He has made me a stronger mother, wife, friend and woman and I am so thankful for it.

Green things in my yard

When I got home from work Thursday morning the sun was shining and I decided to take a few shots in my yard. I don't usually don't get time to do that but since everyone was asleep I took advantage. One is of my Easter flowers that are just not ready yet. Then a few are of our Hungarian plant we brought back from my father-in-laws home town...Sekesfehervar..Ha! that's a mouth full. Yes I know its against the law to bring plants in from other countries..but I did it! It's kinda like a lilac bush. When I brought it home it was in a wet paper towel in a baggie. Now its a huge bush. We have had it growing in our back yard for 5 years...since our last visit. I will have to take more shots of it when it blooms out. Then the brownish lookin plant is a pain..literally. Its some type of thorn plant. I was trying to get the spider web on it but it kinda looks crazy..like some type of insect with horns.. the other shot is of the branch, the flower and some of the thorns. I know they look nuts but I like how the morning sun looked shining on the ugly plant.